Not part three

I know I said I'd do this in three parts, but I'm a filthy liar. It's a well known fact, just ask my kids. Most of the time I'm telling them either we are going somewhere (movies, bookstore, ice cream) but its all a lie to shut them up. We all do it, it's fine.

In the last post you will notice that I held back quite a bit. The effects and affects of that first treatment were horrific beyond print. It's psychological sting ran too deep for mere splattering of words onto digital canvas and too extensive for the casual reader. I'm sure those dark thoughts will be locked into a dungeon within the folds of lard that make up most of my brain. Not most of brain, that'd be an understatement. So be honest, most of my senses also are mainly lard based, but I guess that isn't for here... Yet. 

We are a month in and two treatments down. After next Tuesday, we will be in the single digits for how many treatments left and mentally that's a relief. Chemotherapy is a head game, and for awhile there we were losing that game. I don't know if you know this, but cancer? Well, he's a real jerk. And you know chemo? Well he's an awful friend who does you ONE favor and after that he just walks all over you. Borrows money, hits on your girlfriend, grabs your sisters ass, and every time you tell him to knock it off he just brings up how he bailed you out that one time. That one time. Remember kids, Chemo, not even once. 

Well that somewhat fragile relationship gets strained easily. The symbiotic link between patient and chemo quickly goes from grateful to regret in a split second and it's as painful to watch as it is to live. As a bystander the only hope is the fact that most people talk about the time afterwards as though it went quicker than they thought it would. I do hope that is the case, otherwise the strain both mentally and physically could too much to bear. Although, to be fair, it is the summer and that means a lot of school work for me to be done before the school year starts. Which means I'm pulling down 60 hour work weeks until Aug 14th. Yay. It also means that I am so tired that I can't help out as much as I would like to. I am so. Damn. Tired. I don't wish these grueling hours in the southern utah heat like this. The checks may be nice, but I'm not impressed. I'd rather have the ability to help Vickie with her day. Carry on, however, carry on.

As for now, I await Tuesday, another round of treatment and a long week of work. 

Yay.